Feeling thwarted (isn't that a great word?)

Today, I really wanted to go the Glebe markets, there's a pair of earing and a hair dealy that I was after, and I have a terrible suspicion that they'll be gone by next week. But I promised that I wouldn't unless I'd written 1000 words of my essay, and it's not even really started (disaster).

But this afternoon, we went breifly to Broadway. Aims: to buy a pair of stockings that I've been wanting, to buy a lipstick/gloss, to try on those shoes that I wanted. Also, try and get Catie to buy that dress she wants, and to get some Coke.

So we went to Kmart, and we search high and low, and they didn't have any stockings even remotely like the ones I wanted.

And then they'd sold out of all the lipsticks of the kind I wanted except for the really orangey ones.

And the shoes tured out to be not that nice, certainly not as nice as I'd remembered, and they were uncomfortable.

And then my shoes gave me blisters.

So we went to Coles, and they'd sold out of regular flavoured Coke in all bottle sizes. How unthinkably awful. They were restacking shelves, but only in Lime flavour. Ew.

We went to BiLo, and they had Coke, but it cost nearly twice as much as at Coles. (What's with that?).

This all makes me feel grumpy. I would cheerfully have sacrificed either the shoes or the stockings or the lipstick, but all three is entirely excessive. All that I've acheived this afternoon is to go out and not write my essay, and I have nothing whatsoever to show for it. I wish I was young enough to throw a childish and senseless tantrum, and throw things until am brought what I wanted.

And, and, I may not even get to go the Glebe markets next week, becausemy little sister, who has become increasingly grumpy of late, has Tournament of Minds. Whilst this is kind of useful, because it solved my will-I-go-skiing-for-my-birthday-weekend-or-will-I-do-the-good-friend-thing-and-skip-it-to-go-to-Kathryn's-party dilemna, it now means that not only do we definitely not get to go skiing this weekend, which would have been really great, but also, my Saturday is stuffed.

The plan had been that for a birthday present my Dad was going to take me to the markets and give me some of those things that I always see and want but can't justify buying. But instead, Alex has ToM, which means that my parents will go and stand around all day waiting for her team to do their 5 minute skit and display their little bridge. So that's pretty much skewed my day. Once a month my Dad gets a weekend where he's not on call, and when he can go out of a 20 minute range of Penrith, and in the months where someone in the family has a birthday, he takes the weekend closest to that birthday, which becomes a 'birthday weekend'. This, of course sucks for him, but incidentally means that I'll never get to do the market thing, since nextmonth is my other sister's birthday, and as if we'll go in October. Ha.

So basically my birthday present is nullified. Yay.

And I haven't even started my huge essay that I wanted to have done by now. I hate everthing. *kicks wall*

I'm filled with directionless and irrational resentment towards everything. And no-one but Cat has commented on any of my posts recently anyway. So who cares? I don't know why I'm even bothering to post this, either (a) no-one will read it, in which case it's a waste of my time, which I haven't got enough of, or (b) people will read it and tell me that I'm being selfish and of course we'll do it in October/whatever (which we won't, and anyway, by then what I want will be sold) or (c) people will read this but still not comment, so it'll be the best of both worlds, so I feel like I'm writing into a void, and no-one reads it etc. but actually everyone will just be mentally looking reproachfully at me.

hatehatehate.

AND on Thursday I went to an incredibly boring trivia thing for Sutekh, then ended up driving people home to Bondi Junction and Chatswood until ridiculously late, and it turns out that my uni friends went and had dinner together that night at Bec's place, where I've never even been, and I didn't get to go (not that they told me, you understand), while I was driven to such boredom that I folded about 100 paper cups out of bits of paper and won things like tiny plastic glow-in-the-dark zombies.

Then yesterday I didn't get to say hello to people, after I'd said that I would come back and drop in, because we had to make sure we didn't miss [the worst episode ever of] Strictly Dancing, a dull show at the best of times. And so people will be irritated with me, and the people who were like "suuure you 'll come back and say hi, you don't really like us at all" will think that they were right and resent me even more than they already did.

And I'm going to end up writing this essay on Monday evening/night, and then I'll have to get up for a 9am start, which is a tutorial which I have to write a report on, so I cna't be late, and have to be functional, and then I'll have togo to Latin, for which I haven't yet done the exercise due on Monday, and then a psych tutorial, and then I have to be functional/awake enough to give a presentation on my essay and then I have another lecture, and then, after this already big day of uni, I have to go to work for 6 hours or something, and then drive all the way home from Penrith to snatch enough sleep that I can get up for 9 am on Wednesday.

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................

Probably, on the whole, a good thing that no-one reads this, I guess. How depressing.
I should really get some work done, I suppose.